It’s Guest blog season, so I think now is a good time to explain why I do it and how you can be involved.

Most of the things I create in life result from watching or witnessing something that I don’t like or think I can do better. My blogs and subsequent guest blogs are no different.

I wrote and published my first-ever blog in 2018. At the time, life was not good.

I started to speak out about different things that I disagreed with and was met with “You should not say that” or  “I wouldn’t say that too loud.”  I didn’t think I was saying anything wrong. In fact, I thought I was just saying what a lot of people were thinking.

I was at a bus stop (I still could not drive then) and started randomly speaking to a lady. Just by “Coincidence” (I put “as I personally don’t believe in coincidences, but that’s for another blog, I think), this lady had just set up her own blog. I didn’t really know much about the blogging world. I read plenty and even used it in my studies, but I could not write one.

“why,” the woman at the bus stop said, looking at me. Her eyes were very blue.

I shrugged like a kid. “ I dunno, who would read it,” I said, looking straight ahead. My feet swung back and forth under the bus stop bench.

She laughed, “Who cares? If you want to write and put stuff out there, then you can. Everything you just told me about your life is worth sharing.”

“Na,” I said…looking down at my feet, embarrassed. Because I felt like a kid.

She stood up as her bus arrived and said, “The only thought more frightening than speaking your truth is silence.”

I looked up at her and went to speak, but nothing came out.

She looked at me, got on the bus, and was gone.

And as they say…the rest is history.

I didn’t know that lady,  but her words will ring until the day I die.

The first blog I published was on April 15th, 2018. I can remember what life was like then, and I can remember that day like it was yesterday. It’s mad to see how far I have come, but once again… that is a different blog to write.

My first ever blog was called “The Journey Begins”. I had no idea then how much that title would mean now. So, thank you for me. You can read that blog here:

https://outoftheshadows.blog/2018/04/15/the-journey-begins/

It was a blog about me officially starting Out of the Shadows. It’s my shortest blog. The picture was taken by Junior Smart, who was with me when I got the document to say Out of the Shadows was official. When I said this could be my first blog, he said, “Just do it.” And so, I did. I think it got seven views. I was expecting none.

My next blog got 30.

The next 100

My blogs changed my life. Through them, I have met some of the most amazing people and made changes regarding child protection. Blogging has also impacted my personal life, always in a good way, and I would go as far as to say it has been part of my recovery.

Some of my favorites  would have  to be:

–            Dear Blondy… one of my early and very emotional blogs that made me look at myself in a different way: https://outoftheshadows.blog/2019/10/23/dear-blondy/

–            A mother’s story…The one that never got told – being able to give my mum a voice at last : https://outoftheshadows.blog/2020/12/22/a-mothers-story-the-one-that-never-got-told/

–            “Miss when that door opens…I’m gonna splash that yute”- A chance for me to relive one of the most terrifying days of my life: https://outoftheshadows.blog/2024/09/16/misswhen-the-door-opens-im-gonna-splash-that-yute/

–            And, of course, my Bondy’s People series– where I interview 28 people who could have helped me as a young person: https://outoftheshadows.blog/2020/08/16/blondys-people-dr-carlene-firmin/

Looking back at my blogs is like seeing a photo album of the past few years, watching how I have grown, changed, and hurt. And when I was very hurt, I could not write. I can write when I am angry, happy, sad even. But not hurt. Then, like a cat, I must go away and lick my wounds.

One of the biggest things I discovered on my blogging journey was that lots of people have things they want to say. Maybe not as loud as I do, but they do want to speak, and everyone has a story.

I published the first guest blog on 9th Jan 2019. It was and always will be anonymous.

It came from a conversation with a friend who had read my blogs and asked if it helped me come to terms with the abuse I suffered. I said yes. I said my blogs did a lot of things for me, but yes, being able to say my truth was part of it.

They said…

“What do you mean telling YOUR truth?” I said, “Well, no one else may believe it, accept it, or even want to hear it. But saying it out loud stops it being a secret.”

They said, “I wish I could do that without hurting my family. I want to be able to say my truth without having everyone know it’s me.”

And I said, “say less.”

And from that, we got our first-ever guest blog.

You can read it here, but be warned TRIGGER WARNING :https://outoftheshadows.blog/2019/01/09/our-first-guest-blog/

Since then, we have had some epic guest bloggers, including :

–            This is YOT- My friend’s truth about youth offending – https://outoftheshadows.blog/2019/11/26/this-is-yot/

–            Why would anyone want to be her friend – the impact of domestic abuse – https://outoftheshadows.blog/2019/05/15/why-would-anyone-want-to-be-her-friend/

–            Always a drama…never an ending – where I said, write me a blog about the drams in your life https://outoftheshadows.blog/2019/11/13/always-a-drama-never-an-ending/

Many of the people who have written guest blogs for me are no longer in my life. There are many reasons, but I imagine it is mainly my difficulty in maintaining relationships. Either way, I am glad I had a platform they could share.

The saying, “When you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence,” sums up how I feel about the platform I have created for myself over the years. I invite people to sit, speak, and share so that others can benefit and so that the person writing has a voice.

Over the next few months, I have some amazing people writing. Friends, family, heroes…they will all be in there. I have 2 spaces left for this season. So, if you feel like you would like to sit, write….speak, and share, then drop me a line. There is plenty of room for all.

And if you’re thinking …I want to, but na, all I can say is…

The only thing more frightening than speaking your truth is silence”.

If you would like a guest blog spot, email me at kendra@outofthe-shadows.co.uk