Blondy’s People … Debbie Sales

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Episode 21. How is everyone feeling? Have you enjoyed our journey so far with Blondy’s People? Let me know.

Today’s episode is about the power of telling your truth. Your story. I don’t mean you have to stand up and shout it from the roof, write a blog and make everyone listen. Na. That is just my style. I am taking about even telling your truth to…. you. Stop running and hiding. Tell your truth…. if you take no notice of a word I say…trust me on that one.

Blondy was very good at keeping secrets. Damn…..she still has secrets to this day she has never spoken…. But only because the words can’t leave her mouth. But we know the truth now……Me and Blondy….

Secret keeper

So many people have whispered in her ear over the years …. “Don’t tell” ….. “Keep quiet” …..”no one will believe you”. The last one there…. she said that to herself as much as others said it to her. Good knows when Blondy learned to become a secret keeper. Very young. Secrets can be dangerous.

Something happened today that reminded me of the power of telling your truth. Dr Jessica Taylor spoke publicly about having a smear test at 25 that saved her life. She spoke about the fact that she conducted some research and found that women and girls are at highest risk of cervical cancer if:

  • You started having penetrative sex at a young age (This includes sexual abuse and rape
  • You had a baby before the age of 18

Now …How many women that have just read the above knew this? I’m gonna say not many.

9 years ago, and I have written about this before, which you can read HERE I was diagnosed who pre-cancerous cells, Which was called CIN 3 at the time, but now HSIL. I had to have most of my cervix burned away. The whole process, as you will read in the blog above, was traumatic.

Anyway…. here is what it reminded me of.

So, before this, I was asked some questions by the doctor. We sat in the sterile smelling room. Me, the doctor and one of the fantastic nurses. He asked me some questions about my lifestyle. Do you smoke, sexually active, on medication?

He then asked, “At what age did you become sexually active, I see you had a child young”. And I said, “I was 15”. He then went on to explain that you can be at higher risk if you are sexually active from a young age or have a baby young. I said, wide eyed..

“What…. are you more likely to get cervical Cancer if you have sex from young age”? I don’t remember what he said, he was writing, and I said….

“I had consensual sex for the first time at 15, but Men have used my body in a sexual manner from a very young child, does that count”

He slowly looked up, pen mid writing and looked at me blinking. The nurse took a couple of steps forward and did nothing more than reach out and squeezed my shoulder and just held it there as we continued the questions.

That was one of the pivotal moments for me where I knew the danger of secrets.

Todays guest is someone I hold very dear to my heart. She is a good friend and also has one of my cat’s kittens, so I am like her … mother- cat – in law or something lol.

Debbie Sales is a woman with fire in her eyes. The day I met her, at a training event with Junior Smart, there was this woman in the audience when I arrived (I was running late that day) and she stood out straight away. Really dark hair and makeup. Almost gothic. She looked like the kind of lady that was strong and powerful and you could not want to get into a row with. When it was my turn to speak I found myself looking at her. As I spoke about my story there were times when I just stood there talking directly to her. I can’t explain why. When I delivered my last line

“Can you here me now” Our eyes locked.

She cam to us after. Even though she looked intimidating and such, she spoke softy and I felt her handshake as we shook hands. She said her name was Debbie and Junior said, “Debbie with the dark side” and we all laughed. She has been “Dark side Debbie” to me ever since and always will be.

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Dark Side Debbie…

But that name is not from the clothes and make up she wore that day.

When you are a survivor you can sometimes make eye contact with someone and you just know….I don’t know how to explain it….but you just know that they have been there too… in some way. They have suffered at the hands of another.

Me and Debbie spoke, and she told me she was a fellow secret keeper. Not with the same secret but with the same outcome…..pretending to be someone she was not.

One day she told me her secret. I believe I was one of the first.

I told her that it was safe with me and was no longer a secret. So was no longer a secret keeper.

The change from the day she told me until now…..wow…..I don’t even know where to start. She looks lighter. Her eyes sparkle…. watch the video…you will see.

She says she is now free. Breath that in. FREE

Debbie is one of Blondy’s people because the role she is doing now is something I respect and would love us to do more work together. She gets it, she sees what people need to do to make this world a better place.

Debbie is also one of Bondy’s people because we have both come through the other side of being a secret keeper and want others to know the power of telling your truth

You can follow Debbie on Twitter HERE

Make sure you catch up on the other Blondy’s People videos……

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