Today’s guest blog is by a woman, a mum, a survivor. When I asked her to write me a blog, she said no. said she would not be able to. That she can not write like that. I told her to hush and said all she has to do is tell her story. No more no less. She said what if someone links it to my son. We are still trying to protect him. I said that I would leave it with her to decide if she wanted to share her story.
Gangs and county lines are glamorized at times by the media. That is my own personal opinion. There was nothing glamour’s about being in a police station whilst you can here your mu sobbing outside the room you are in.
Today’s blog is from a Mother whose children have been involved in gangs. When no one would help her…..she had to help herself. Please sit back and listen. Big love x
I’m a single mum of four children. Since I would say 2010 my life has been somewhat different surrounding drugs and my children. Let’s start with my eldest…….It broke my heart when I found out he had been smoking weed, it led to other stuff!!!
His moods were awful, once I got a call to go pick him up as someone had taken his trainers off his feet. There was fights and lots of them. I admitted I couldn’t cope, and he was placed in a B&B. That didn’t last long as he looked awful and I felt I’d let him down and he came home. Life continued as best it could. Things came to a head in 2013 when he came to me and told me he was in £800 debt and what would happen if it wasn’t paid. Where the hell does a single parent go to get that sort of money, bloody high interest loan company!!!
I WANTED IT TO STOP.
I made a huge decision to move my family out of area. We relocated in a different county (one we were familiar with). My eldest found work and helped pay back the loan. Weed was still a thing. Due to a family members health and me becoming a nan (thanks middle son) we moved back home.
Eldest joined the army and I was the proudest EVER. Son in the army and a grandson to cherish life was on the up.
My youngest son was year 11 when we moved back, after trouble finding him a SEN school, he did a few exams (Education and my son was always a battle he had an EHCP).
He and a few of his friends used to hang out at an elder lad’s house, I didn’t like it nor did the other parents. Why would someone approaching 20 want to hang out with 15/16 year olds?? He said he was being their friend and was safer they were in his nan’s house with him playing xbox and smoking weed then be on the streets.
There was a disagreement one night one of the mums rung me in the night to say her son had returned home grabbed a weapon and was going to “do him”. Same was going on in my house too but I was told about the threats that the elder lad made to them but never told why. I stood in front of kitchen so he couldn’t take anything from there. I stood in front of my doors, but he got out through a window with a rubber mallet used to whack wind breaks in the sand. We called it into police as we were worried, what had happened for them to be so angry?? The boys were arrested thankfully no weapons found and they were released. This was just the start of a roller coaster that I couldn’t get off.
There was arrests of anti-social behaviour and a cbo.
2017 is a blur and I’m sure my mind has tried to forget a lot of the craziness. I felt the police spent more time at my house than the police station. If we got past 9am in the morning and police hadn’t been it was a good day.
I’d seen on a local Facebook page a group of kids were causing havoc in the town, I felt for those parents as I’d been and was still going through hell myself. After speaking to the other mums of my son’s friends concerned on how they was coping etc our community safety officer arranged a meeting for us all. It was at this meeting we found out all our children were doing the same stuff ages 14-17.
These poor mum’s I thought, and little did we ALL know it was about to go bat shit crazy. We set up a what’s app group so we could let each other know when our boys were home, out, drunk or missing.
Meanwhile army life didn’t suit my eldest or admittedly I won’t say what went wrong as my heart still hurts over this. He returned but one day packed a bag and left. He’d been gone weeks then youngest got a call to say his brother had stolen drug money and people would be coming to MY home. I must have been a right bitch in my previous life to have all this crap. Why can’t my kids be happy and ‘normal ‘? Social services had become involved after youngest son had gone missing and was arrested in a town 6hrs away (new location of elder) for a stabbing. What could I do I was 6hrs away? The stabbing was horrific, and my lad and two others helped the victim they didn’t do it but they did see it. Obviously was a no comment interview and I was very grateful that one of the other boy’s family went to collect them and bring them home. So, with the threats of a nasty person knocking my door social Services wanting to put my youngest two on child protection I had to take my daughter to a different location. Police panic alarms were installed and after a week, once things had calmed down and eldest saying it had nothing to do with him we returned home. More arrests followed with youngest, assaults and room searches looking for drugs. He was always up and out early and would return very drunk, off his head or both. I slept on the sofa, always selected pj’s that at a push could be worn in public as I never knew when my phone would go. I was on a diet of fear and was on edge the minute he left the house. My phone went one night, and my daughter always sensed things weren’t right and she was down the stairs before I ended THE call……….He’d been stabbed!!!!! It was the police asking me to get to the location. I think myself and my daughter got jammed going through the front door at the same time. Speed limits what speed limit I had to get to MY boy. I’ll never know what it was over but thankfully it wasn’t fatal. Stabbed with a broken bottle to his arm and a slight cut on his chest thankfully not too deep. He was off his noodle and a pain in the arse in the hospital I won’t lie I was embarrassed but angry that he’d been stabbed NO ONE hurts MY kids!!!
I can’t and won’t mention what happened with the other kids involved in this, but they were all being exploited, County lines. Maybe this was happening with my eldest but wasn’t heard of then???
We were pleased to hear an arrest had been made someone out of county. Things are so much better now. Eldest is working full time, middle one is a good dad and works full time. Youngest son is looking for work, weed is still a problem though. My grandson is perfect and is loved so much. Now I’ve to see my daughter through her mid-teens, she is seeing a counsellor and struggles at school and find a job now life is calmer. I’ve made some great friends through this crazy and I couldn’t have got through it without them and my mum. I hope to be able to support other families that have been affected by these issues too. To hear those words, you’re not alone means millions. To the person/people that violated our children, may you rot in hell.
MY kid’s, MY life, MY everything.
If you have been affected by anything in this blog please reach out to us at www.outofthe-shadows.co.uk