So here we are. 5 days to go until the #shemakesme campaign. In case you are wondering “What is she talking about #shemakesme?” I have inserted a link….HERE. Watch the video, see what you think. Let me know if you are gonna join me on the 10th of September and then share…share…share.
I am going to use the next few blogs to give a big #shemakesme to some of the females in my life to get the ball rolling and get people talking about it.
Trust, I struggle with this stuff sometimes…. But let’s do this… my first #shemakesme build up is dedicated to one woman.
#shemakesme cry out in the night. I will be sleeping, not so much now, but for a few years it was often. I would wake up with big hot tears running down my face, heart beating fast and breathing is heavy. Once or twice I the I woke calling her name. A word that I swore would never leave my mouth unless referring to myself when talking about my children. One, I woke up crying and I didn’t know what was real or not for a few minutes, so then the tears came harder when I realised she was not there.
#Shemakesme laugh. Laugh so so hard. Once she made me laugh so much that I couldn’t breathe, and I told her to stop but she kept going. Tears were rolling down my face. No sound was coming out of my mouth except a snort every now and then. I got out of the chair I was in, my side actually hurting and tried to get away from her, so I could breathe. She suddenly realised that we had gone from “haha its so funny” to I could not actually breath. She ended up having to take me to the doctors the next day and was sent to the hospital where they found I had a broken rib. It could have happened at any time, but she told anyone who would listen that she made me laugh so much once I bust a rib.
#shemakesme want stand up to every man who has ever beaten his wife/partner and say…..how dare you. Why could you. Look what you are doing to the queen of your family. The mother of your child. How can you tell her you love her, sleep in her bed at night, eat the food she cooks and then lay your hand on her? Sometimes its not even your hand. It’s your cruel words and your controlling way that is making her the shell of a women she once was.
#shemakesme remember what is like to be loved. I mean real, unconditional love. The kind of love that makes you warm just thinking about it. The kind of love that makes you feel just a little bit safe when you are in your darkest times. A love that is only experienced every now then but lasts a life time.
#shemakesme feel sorry. Sorry that I hurt her. Sorry that I wouldn’t listen. Sorry I didn’t tell her the truth. Sorry that I made her cry, sorry she saw me cry. Sorry I couldn’t save her. Sorry that she thought she couldn’t save me.
#shemakesme know that I can be anything I want to be. Good or bad. When no one else believed I would get a degree she said, “Of course you will, who’s gonna stop you?”. Even at my worst she saw the best in me. She told me that one day I would realise how strong I truly am and then from that day I would make a difference. I shock my head and walked away from her when she said that. Too young to understand the power of her words.
#shemakesme understand now, now I am grown, that she must have felt so low. I never had a true conversation with her about ever feeling suicidal or having them thoughts but now, as a grown woman, I know she did and I also know that she was so strong to fight against them when they come. She was very alone at times and that would have made the darker times…darker.
#shemakesme want to be a good mum. I saw what she tried to achieve as women and I watched her try and be the best mum she could. And she was. She so so was. But, things stopped her. There were times that she was on top of the world and so strong but also times when she was so low that I didn’t know if she would ever come out of it. But she always wanted to be a good mum
#shemakeme proud that I had the privilege of calling her mum.
Make sure you join in on the 10th of September to show your love and respect to the females in your life.
2 Comments Add yours
Kendra, you forget all those moments a child creates love in the parent. You gave your mother your locked arms round her neck hanging on for good, she will have watched over you as you slept feeling the love welling up in her, you will have held her hand, you will only have wanted her and she W will have felt your companionship as you grew inside her.
This is why you are one of my favourite people in the world.