Yer that’s me

Throwing gun fingers in the middle of Canterbury Cathedral as I graduated my MA in Advanced Child Protection with the university of Kent.

Now you may be wondering how I got here…to be throwing gun fingers, with so much pride I can’t even hide it…in a place and situation you absolutely don’t throw gun fingers.. so let me explain

So…I am throwing up that sign at my son. You know…the one I had on the bathroom floor when I was a child myself.

He nodded back.

He does not throw gun fingers…kids …what can you do!

Anyway, I digress.

So, the reason I am doing that is because many many years ago a lady called Helen was disrespected and rejected by her entire community, family and friends. An alcoholic with mental health and an abusive husband…so it makes sense for everyone to just leave he to fend for herself. Sigh

She went on to become pregnant and her husband continued to abuse her. The baby was born and very soon the husband went to prison for a long time. And  very few people stepped forward to help.

Helen, she did the best with what she had…which was not a lot. She no longer drank but the mental health took hold in a way that is hard to explain.

She raised her child with no guidance and little support. But she tried. She showed up every single day that she could and she cared.

However, the child….well…she was…different.

And she caused her mumsy many many sleepless nights and tears. And the harder Helen tried to hold onto her….the further the girl pushed back.

Until Helens daughter was out of school, being criminalised and had a baby.

Helen did not get a fair deal in life.

Helen did not get a fair chance in life.

Helen was never seen.

Her daughter…she didn’t mean to, but Bwoy did she break Helen’s heart a few times, but no matter what she did, Helen always put the daughter first. In every decision. It’s called unconditional love.

And then she found out she was dying, and before she died, she asked her daughter to do something. She asked her to do what ever she needed to be free. And then she died. The end

So, listener….that’s why you see me throwing up the sign of celebration, where I come from, at my son, in the middle of Canterbury Cathedral as I graduated,

Because that one was personal

That one was for Helen

That one was for my mum.

Because she believed in me and she knew that I could be whatever I wanted. From drug dealer to graduating from Uni. So, I wore shoes with her name on and walked out and claimed OUR space. Because she may have never been seen but I made sure that  I stepped out of the shadows for both of us,

And I have had many a gun finger moment over the years

And just recently I have been oh so quite…. Because my mum told me that you never tell or show your next move until you’re ready to make it

And I am

So, get ready people

The next shot is about to take place

And this one is for me!

Watch this space