Someone said this to me today in a conversation about change and new beginnings. They said this line and then continued talking about the subject we were discussing. I did not hear a word they said after that line. Even as I drove away, I was still thinking about that line.

I have been quiet, not just in terms of blogs but in terms of life. I have spoken in a previous blog about writer’s block and functional freeze. It’s a process, that is for sure. But there are other factors that have been impacting me.
A few months ago, I decided to take the summer off. I had never been able to do that before, but the opportunity came that I could have the whole summer off and not be impacted financially. Who is going to turn that down?

But I didn’t realise how much I needed that pause. It has been like an internal retreat. No worrying. No big plans for the next move. The universe (Or whatever you believe in) planned it all out for me.  
Bullying in the workplace, disability discrimination, and employers allowing workers to burn out is a reality in so many of our lives. For some, like me, admitting that there has been any kind of bullying against me is very difficult. Disability discrimination is so commonplace that no one talks about it, and if you do…well…you run the risk of being treated a certain way (In some workplaces). But the most common I see is workers being allowed to burn out quite openly, and then when it all gets too much, those at the top look around as if they had no idea. However, these topics will need to be discussed over several blogs.

This summer has allowed me to start looking at what I want to do in all aspects of my life. I lived in survival/fight mode my whole life. It’s the realisation that I really don’t have too anymore.
More importantly, it’s the realisation that I can only control me. It’s that simple.
There comes a point in life when you can no longer perform or mask. You realise you can only be yourself, and from that, you will most likely start to discover who you truly are and what your purpose is.

I like to help people (hence the safeguarding). I like to hold space for people so that they have time to speak, breathe, and heal. It’s funny how I did not have the capacity to do that for myself until now.
A few years ago, if you had asked me my life purpose, I would have said safeguarding children. Which is correct…in a way. But, as in any industry, there are always people around who are caught up in ego and self.

So, I am going with the changes. I start my new job at the end of September, and it could not be more perfect in every way if it tried. I will not believe I have it until I am actually there.
But I am also going to start my own wellbeing hub that will include Jidiken Reiki, coaching, mentoring, holistic integration…. The list goes on. I will be doing this with others, and of course,  I will learn from them all the time. Everything will be trauma-informed and, of course, neurodivergent-focused. I will aim my practice towards those impacted by burnout in the workplace, those affected by exploitation and abuse, and anyone who needs a space held for them while they catch their breath.

I will still deliver training and consultancy and will still blog, but it will all come with a different energy. My blogs will continue to mix my history and talk about some of the people I have worked with, as well as my wellbeing and thoughts and feelings around spirituality and such. I guess people will either read them…or won’t.

Life can be very hard. We don’t need to make it harder by being our own worst critic. One of the most important things I have discovered on my 44-year journey is that I must speak my truth. That could be about my past, work, future, and person. Whatever it is, I have to be myself.
Over the past two years, I have been to some dark places. I have also had some of the best days of my life. I have tolerated poor behavior from family, friends, and work colleagues.
I say “I had to” like I choose to be treated like that. Let me rephrase that. People have been happy to watch me take a kicking from the universe and then put their boots in. At times, I thought there was no coming back from some of it. But I should have just placed my trust in the universe. It has never let me down yet.

So…..September…announcement of new job….new hub…maybe a podcast series (maybe!) and I think an excellent old reflection on what I have achieved,
Get comfy, people….things are about to get interesting.